on materialism and memories

This week a strange thing happened... I broke a glass... but not just any glass, one of my little collection. http://on.fb.me/9OOPyv I have this bad habit of collecting anything, shot glasses is one of them: sometimes I keep glasses I find, sometimes I buy souvenirs...
This particular glass was taken as payback back in 2004 in Hannover. While on the CC (Congress Committee of the largest AIESEC conference) in Germany we were taken out to eat at a Beer Garden by one of our sponsors... there we had this horrible waiter who had some random weird name with an R... he was such a fairy, and to be honest quite rude to ME for some reason, who knows... I think someone had a video of him too.
Well he had recommended a digestivo at the end of the meal, and Alicia (a team-mate from NZ) and I had obliged... turns out this drink was ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE.. i can still remember the disgusted looks on our faces... I was so angered by his petty picking I decided the glass was cute and original and that I would take it on holiday to Malta!! ... and that's where it's been for the past 6 years, sitting on my desk as I come and go...

breaking it for some reason made me crack....well it made something crack
I decided I needed to clean up my room, clean up my head, and well this goes hand in hand with me wanting to clean up my life...
I decided I needed to start losing a bit of my attachment to objects, and collect my thoughts instead of things.
For the past 10 or so years I've collected all sorts of stuff not to forget my experiences, travels, stories, moments.
So what did I do? ...
Collected items I had stored between wooden boxes (bought for hte specific purpose), raws and shelves and sorted every paper or picture by year... and now I have to glue them into their respective scrapbooks....

what next? I cleaned up my cupboard, wardrobe,desk and bedside table (which was also full of clutter) now I'll have to make my way through my bookshelf.
It feels really good actually. IT feels good to get rid of things...

So now, after this post I'm getting rid of the glass ( I wanted to throw it away only after having actually written this thought down...) This whole thing got me back into the thoughts of my previous post... on what is actually mine, and more importantly which of these things and objects is actually necessary and significant. While throwing away stuff I realised I couldn't remember EVERY single story behind each object...so off they went, and now I'm going to capture as much as possible and get rid of the clutter. Pictures are the best way I guess... most of the objects are un-necessary anyways, so a picture should be more than enough :)

The little Hannover glass made its last toast a long time ago... I think the day I drank from it was the first and last itme I used it!
...and I dedicate a virtual toast to my team from IC in Germany.... that's a memory that doesn't fade whether I have glasses, papers or any other object...

Is everything borrowed?

I heard this song for the first time on the train as I travelled between the Netherlands and Germany over a week ago... I love putting my earphones on and drowning out the noise, staring out of the window at the world and landscape go by, I find it a great means for reflection...

The song apparently is about the repercussions of the financial crisis...but mainly I like the fact that it's a note aganst materialism...
I often wonder what the real value of things and objects is to me, what can I live without? What Can I absolutely not live without? What is really "mine" apart from my memories, thoughts and feelings?

Don't really want to add much except the lyrics of the Chorus of this song... worth a listen, and worth a ponder...

"I came to this world with nothing
and I leave with nothing but love
everything else is just borrowed"

New look

Today I tried to give my blog a facelift... looks a bit brighter and is a bit more personalised... I'm still unsure on whether I like it 100%, there is always room for improvement in everything..

As you can see the theme is The Lotus Flower... why? Well I've been doing some research on images and symbols that I can utilise because I identify with them and after a good deal of reading I have come to the conclusion that I identify with the Lotus.

Reasons

- In the Hindu book the Bhagavad Gita, the text speaks of the need to strive to be like the lotus blossom, "pure of heart so that the muck of earthly matters do not cling to us". Apparently the soul lives in the lotus flower that dwells in each person's heart

- The ultimate lotus flower meaning in the Hindu belief system is that the lotus flower symbol represents awakening to the spiritual reality of life. I'm starting to consider this year as a new birth, or at least a new awakening, and a new found desire for challenge and change

In ancient Egypt the lotus was also a symbol of rebirth, of the sun

Lotuses in Hinduism symbolize prosperity, beauty, fertility, eternity and eternal youth things to strive for

my favourite quote form this information "Lotus tattoos are meant to represent life, new beginnings and the possibility of people growing to change into something beautiful."

In China the Lotus also has a beautiful meaning - Chinese poets use lotus flowers to inspire people to continue striving through difficulties and to show their best part to the outside world, no matter how bad the circumstances may be - a great mantra to keep up.

Something fantastic about the lotus is that the seed starts its life at the bottom of the pond, or what other water form it is in, it then rises to the surface and blossoms....it brings beauty and light from the murky darkness at the bottom of the pond :)

Another symbolic characteristic of the lotus flower leads from the observation that the plant's stalk is easy to bend in two, but is very hard to break because of its many strong sinuous fibres... I guess I identify with that....

btw... above is the picture i'm planning to use... :)

taking a trip with myself

I have made a promise to myself... to sit in silence and think once a day...

the result of this thought process might produce .. a post?.. a thought to develop? a problem to overcome? a tear? a smile? whatever the case I do realise that I need it... I need to be with me, to love me a bit better, to love me a bit more

I started reading Song of Myself - by Walt Whitman... what a read...

take a look

http://www.poetry-online.org/whitman_song_of_myself.htm

(it's too long to post, and definitely requires more than one read)

it brought a smile to my face this evening... I was getting ready to go out, getting dressed and as always worrying whether I look like a person worth looking at... which is just a disguise for the question "do I like myself?"

The silly thing is the answer is YES and I honestly don't understand why I foten get lost in a meandering maze of not liking myself... it's odd I guess... but I think it's also an natural or personal way of keeping my feet on the ground... THING IS I don't want them to stay on the ground...

I think I'll try defying gravity ...says this amazing song! ... I'm through accepting limits cos people say they're so.... is how it continues... truth is it hasn't been just others placing limits... I have too! This year I've stopped myself from doing what my heart so yearns for, it's been a healthy break at the end of the day. I've broken form student life and jumped into work life, BUT with the university ball and chain still there as I haven't finished my thesis.

If I could turn this thought into a picture it would look like this

a cliff

a big metal ball on the edge...

the ball has a chain,

and half way hanging down the cliff... ME!

Upside down... hangimg there.... for too long (hence the confusion and boggled brain)

ready to fly... but still tied down

SO NOW..I'm turning up, climbing back up the chain towards that ball, and I'm going to unchain myself so that this time I can take the plunge properly

now let's see if this evening turns out well or not :)