the result of this thought process might produce .. a post?.. a thought to develop? a problem to overcome? a tear? a smile? whatever the case I do realise that I need it... I need to be with me, to love me a bit better, to love me a bit more
I started reading Song of Myself - by Walt Whitman... what a read...
take a look
http://www.poetry-online.org/whitman_song_of_myself.htm
(it's too long to post, and definitely requires more than one read)
it brought a smile to my face this evening... I was getting ready to go out, getting dressed and as always worrying whether I look like a person worth looking at... which is just a disguise for the question "do I like myself?"
The silly thing is the answer is YES and I honestly don't understand why I foten get lost in a meandering maze of not liking myself... it's odd I guess... but I think it's also an natural or personal way of keeping my feet on the ground... THING IS I don't want them to stay on the ground...
I think I'll try defying gravity ...says this amazing song! ... I'm through accepting limits cos people say they're so.... is how it continues... truth is it hasn't been just others placing limits... I have too! This year I've stopped myself from doing what my heart so yearns for, it's been a healthy break at the end of the day. I've broken form student life and jumped into work life, BUT with the university ball and chain still there as I haven't finished my thesis.
If I could turn this thought into a picture it would look like this
a cliff
a big metal ball on the edge...
the ball has a chain,
and half way hanging down the cliff... ME!
Upside down... hangimg there.... for too long (hence the confusion and boggled brain)
ready to fly... but still tied down
SO NOW..I'm turning up, climbing back up the chain towards that ball, and I'm going to unchain myself so that this time I can take the plunge properly
now let's see if this evening turns out well or not :)
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